U guiz I was so a wild Mormon rave last night. xDDD Well I did go to a dance with my friends at this Mormon church since I have like 4 Mormon friends. Haha. It was actually really fun and there weren't any restrictions on dress, really, I had my Lucky 13 jeans with huge gaping holes in the knees on and my 'emocass' hat. So that was good. And I was very music-y, I had my glittery shirt that has a guitar with wings and then a red jacket with drum sets all over it. [: And they had all kinds of dance/techno/hip-hop music I've never heard of. And they didn't play DotA, how sad. But they did play Metro Station [yey], Miley [ugh] and Cascada. And me and my friends danced very crazily. yey.
But then at the veryvery end when I was all delusional and tired and it was 11 and they were playing the last slow song this guy who was like 16 or 17 was like 'Do you wanna dance?' and me, being the awkwardest person ALIVE is just like '...' and then one of my friends was like 'That's Annaliese's[a girl at our school] brother!' and in the midst of that the situation kinda dissolved and apparently my friends didn't know he asked me and I told them and they were like 'YOU RETARD WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY YES???' D: So it ended kinda fail-ish. Waa. I just hope he didn't think I rejected him x.x Whatever.
OH OH OH I SO HAD A MAVID DREAM LAST NIGHT!!!!!! :D
It was really long and complicated, it was like these people wanted to steal this stuff and we were like being threatened to be shot or something and I was up on a roof somewhere. Then I was somewhere looking at this piece of paper that looked like a schedule and on one of the timeslot-things it was like 'Michael kisses David' and then right below it it was like 'But they really do the opposite of that' and then below that it was like 'TMZ Aftermath' and so I was confused and was like 'I didn't read about this online! Whuttt.' But now I can say I had some form of Mavid dream. xD
And cryy, no one read/commented on my writing post on IJ or this blog. x.x
20 July 2008
18 July 2008
In this world of miracles there's nothing wrong we can't make right.
Omg. So today I was thinking how I really wish I had my NaNoWriMo novel. National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for short, is a challenge where you write a novel consisting of 50,000 words during the month of November. I participated in this, but did not make it to 50k. But I still wrote a hell of a lot of words in the time I had. And I went looking for it in my old sentbox and found a copy of it! I thought it was gone for good because it was on a jumpdrive and that stopped working.
So I read it over, enjoyed it, and now am gonna post it. YEY. I'm posting in parts because it's so long, probably post once a day. (:
Oh, and it's still a WIP. I never finished it. x.x
Title: Untitled NaNoWriMo piece Part 1
Author: Cassidy
Summary: Um..it starts as realfic but delves into fantasy. :D
Rating: Probably pg-13 for the whole thing.
Warnings: Depictions of suicide, homosexuality, mild language, girlkissing, mentally insane people :P
A/N: FEEDBACK IS S♥ MUCH L♥VE. Rlynao. Bad or good, just tell me stuff. xD And this is unbeta'd, unedited, taken straight from when I wrote it in November.
~~~
I swear, sometimes I think I’m the only sane one in my house. I lay on my bed on the soft, fluffy navy blue comforter, lounging lazily while absentmindedly flipping through an old issue of Seventeen, stopping once in a while to chuckle at the superficiality of some of the magazine’s articles. Suddenly an all-too familiar voice rang out.
“Gemma! Gemma-Leigh!! Come downstairs! Now!”
It was my mother’s voice, something I dread to hear every day. She was probably going to take one look at me before shrieking in her shrill, annoying voice that I looked like a delinquent, a miscreant, or something of the sort. Or maybe my favorite: “I rue the day I ever bought you that black eyeliner!” I groaned. I seriously couldn’t wait until I was old enough to move out of this hellhole and go live on my own; be independent. “I’m coming, mother...”
I choked out the word ‘mother’. I heard the shrill voice once again. “Gemma-Leigh now means now! You get down here this instant!” I sat up and got myself out of bed lazily. “I said I’m coming. God!” I yelled. I got up, pulling down my black Sex Pistols tank. I grudgingly walked over to my mirror in my purple socks and stuck my tongue out. I then inserted a smooth, silver barbell through the hole and screwed on the spherical top on. I had gotten my tongue pierced when I was 15 to be ‘rebellious’, but over time I had gotten quite fond of it.
My silver peace sign necklace swung as I walked, and there were chunks of my multicolored hair cut in a side fringe, covering one of my eyes. It was mostly black, but with a little bit of red and blonde in there too. I had on baggy red sweat pants, rolled up to my calves. I slowly walked downstairs to where my mother was waiting for me.
“Gemma, I know you are capable of coming downstairs much faster than you did.”
“But mom, I only took like five minutes!”
“I don’t know what kind of internal clock you have, but I know for a fact you certainly did not take five minutes. Ten, at least!”
This is my mother, Leslie. Mousy brown hair cut short in an attempt to look neat but still made her look tired and old. Typical middle-age clothes; high pants and everything. ”Look, mom. I’m sorry I took five minutes more getting downstairs than you expected. What do you want anyways?” I was too tired of putting up with an argument. “I wanted to tell you that I’d like you to help me unload the dishwasher.” I groaned. “Mom, don’t you remember? I already did it once today. I’m going over to Charity’s house. Bye.” I barely finished my sentence before walking out of the house and closing the door in a huff.
I got into my car, a red Camaro. My purse was in there. It was covered with overlapping Playbills from assorted Broadway musicals, and on it were about ten pins that I had put on, with cool designs or bands on them. I reached in and grabbed my phone, flipping it open to send a fast text message to Charity to tell her I was coming to her house.
She was one of the first friends I had made when I came to New York. I had previously lived in Oregon. Boring place, but it had its share of interesting people. Like Condra, my best friend when I lived there. She was a real party girl, going to as many raves as she could fit into her schedule, moshing at concerts and shooting up when time allowed. She was crazy, but I loved her. But one day I heard she OD’d and had almost died. When I came to visit her in the hospital, she wasn’t the same. Her brain was seriously affected, and she could hardly remember who I was, let alone string together words to make a sentence that made sense. It was heart-wrenching to hear the doctor tell me she’ll never be the same again. But moving away helped me put all the grief behind me. I met new people, and was back to my normal self soon.
Then came Charity. I hadn’t really known anyone in my school, so I decided to visit a Gay-Straight Alliance one day, just because I had nothing better to do. Charity was one of the bi ones, like me. She told me she had been horribly harassed and this was the only place she wouldn’t be called a fag or a dyke. We ended up talking, and in a short time we exchanged phone numbers and then we were talking almost constantly, it seemed. I guess you could say we were kind of inseparable. Sure, I had a crush on her a few times, but we both agreed at the beginning of our friendship that getting into a relationship together would be too weird, and if we broke up we might never talk to each other again.
I pulled up to Charity’s house and parked. She was already waiting for me outside. As always, the first thing I notice is her fire engine red hair, as wild as her personality. She was wearing ripped fishnets and a baggy Rolling Stones shirt with a dark washed jean skirt. She had on while kitten heels with a cherry print, and her hair was pulled into three messy ponytails. Her eye shadow was striped red and black, and her mascara was black on top, red on the bottom. “I see you stuck with a color theme today,” I laughed and hugged her. She hugged me back and kissed my cheek.
“Does that mean you don’t like it?” Charity looked at me with big light blue eyes. “Of course not! I fricken adore it, Charity.” She responded with a wide grin. “Thanks. Now come in.” She began pulling me by the sleeve into her house. “Why are you in such a hurry?”
“Well, I happen to have chocolate chip cookie dough waiting for us.” She said in a singsong voice, still dragging me by my sleeve, which was merely a tank top strap. “Awesome. Glad I could come to your house. I couldn’t stand being in that house with my mom for another second. You are so damn lucky you have your own house.”
“Aww, I’m sorry, Gem. Is your mom really all that horrible? And I don’t have my own house; it’s just a studio, that’s all. Hardly a house. But it’s amazing living on my own.” She twirled around, her baggy shirt puffing up as she spun. “My mom won’t let me move out of the house till I’m at least 19. It sucks. I’m still 17, but you’re special enough that your 18th birthday comes early.” I stuck my tongue out at her playfully. She poked the barbell. “You know, I saw the cutest tongue ring at this store earlier. It was a little flower! I was gonna get it for you, but I forgot my wallet…” She explained sadly. “It’s fine, Chari! You don’t have to buy me things. Where did you see it?” Charity was about the sweetest girl on the planet. “At a store called The Ace of Hearts. I’ll be sure to give you the directions later.” “Cool. Maybe I’ll find a matching eyebrow stud for you and we can wear them together.” Currently adorning Charity’s eyebrow was a stud with lips on it.
“Speaking of eyebrow studs, I am completely loving yours.” Charity reached over into a bowl on the counter and brought up a finger full of cookie dough. She shoved it into my mouth. “Thanks. Gemma, you should really get your eyebrow done, you know. It’ll look so cute.”
I swallowed the sweet, thick dough. “I don’t know. I already have a double lobe piercing, cartilage piercing, and tongue piercing. I think I’m done.”
“Aw, come on, Gem! You know you want to! At least, I want you to.” Charity poked me with a sharp heel. “Ow! You suck. I came here in my socks, so I don’t have anything to poke you with...” I whined. “Did you forget your shoes again? This is the third time, Gem!”
“Err, maybe... Or maybe I’m just starting a new trend!” I said defensively, stifling laughter. “Yes, Gemma. Of course. No shoes. That’ll catch on in a flash!” She said sarcastically. “Well, anyways, speaking of more serious things, do you know Juliette Speare?”
“No. I’ve heard of her once or twice. Who is she?”
“She happens to be the cutest girl I’ve ever seen! I can’t believe you haven’t heard of her! I so, so, so need to introduce you to tomorrow.”
“The cutest girl you’ve ever seen? I thought I was the cutest girl you’ve ever seen...” I winked at her teasingly.
“Haha, you can be in second place. You’ll understand why when you see her. Also, she is the best guitar player I’ve ever seen. I heard her garage band once. It pretty much sucked except for her.” Charity laughed as she recalled hearing them.
“Super cute and super good guitarist? Now I really want to meet her!” I’ve seemed to always have a certain thing for guitarists. I don’t know why, I just do.
“Hey Charity, do you have a yearbook from last year? Then I could see a picture of her!” Now the first thing I wanted to do tomorrow was meet, or at least look at, Juliette Speare.
“She’s not in last year’s yearbook. She’s new this year. Sorry, Gemma.”
Charity fiddled with her red tipped, square acrylic nails. From the moment I saw Charity, I loved her unique, indie style of clothes, jewelry, makeup, and everything else. She has introduced me to some of my favorite bands that I wouldn’t have ever heard of if she hadn’t told me about them. She also bought me my Playbill purse for my birthday, and now it’s one of my favorite things. I love her genuine, caring personality and her wild outlook on life. She lived every day to its fullest and I valued her for that. The thing is, sometimes I wished we had never agreed to never be in a relationship together because lately that’s exactly what I’ve been wanting. I know I’ll just have to get over it and move on, much like Condra and Suzanne, my sister.
Suzanne seemed to be the family favorite, golden angelic hair, a straight A student, always living up to her parent’s expectations. Until her senior year, her life seemed just about perfect. After her senior prom and homecoming queen crowning, Suzanne and about 5 of her friends went out partying. They all either got really drunk or really high, maybe both, including Suzanne. With that being unexpected enough, something even more unexpected happened. That night she had gotten with about three guys in an alley, unprotected.
The next day she got screened for any STDs, and she came up HIV positive. I remember, she came home a mess, eyes all red and puffy with tears streaming down her face. She ran sobbing up to the bathroom, and she locked herself in. I heard her wailing and screaming, and then it sounded like she was being tortured. I knew she must be upset, but I had gotten worried. After 20 minutes spent unsuccessfully picking the bathroom door lock with a paper clip, I kicked the door out of sheer anger and frustration. Then to my surprise the door swung open. I got in. What I saw I’ll never forget. In the bathroom, sitting on the toilet seat, was Suzanne. Covered in blood. So much blood. On the floor were her HIV test results. I had picked them up, and they were red and sticky from her blood. Still in shock, I shakily stepped over to my sister and touched her, saying in a nervous voice, “Su-Suzanne? Hello? Suze?” Tears had started to well up, as my voice got even shakier and started break. “Are you…Are you…alive?” The last word came out in barely a whisper; I was almost unable to say it because more than anything I didn’t want it to be true. “Please, oh please, say something. Say anything. Just breathe, at least... Oh, God, no...”
Tears steamed down my face and onto the floor mixing with the deep crimson already pooled on the floor. I grabbed her wrist, but instantly recoiled, whimpering. Her wrists had been violently slashed. Deep vertical lines were carved in to the smooth, ivory skin of her inner wrist, crusted with the rust color of dried blood. It still oozed fresh blood, bright red blood. Her other wrist was dripping as well. My mouth was open, wide with shock. I was unable to say anything, or do anything. It was like a bad dream where something horrible happens and you try to scream, you try to run away, but your throat closes up and your legs feels like concrete, glued to the ground. I felt the contents of my stomach slowly creeping its way back up my throat, the acidic taste burning my throat. I tried to swallow, but instead gagged and retched as the bile dripped down my chin, mixing with whatever was on the floor already. The smell was almost unbearable and I tried to move but I couldn’t, I was still frozen. My sister was dead. The second I thought that I immediately blocked it out, ruling out that fact it could be true. She could never be dead. Why her? Oh hell, why her? Coughing and violently sobbing at the same time, I was able to choke out a few words. “Please….no...” As if she could hear me and suddenly wake up. Like she had a pulse, like she had a beating heart. I could barely speak; the words came out almost inaudible, I was so choked with sobs. More tears were now coming down my face than I ever thought possible. My body was involuntarily shaking, and time seemed frozen. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had seen movies, read books, and watched TV shows about people committing suicide. Some people from my school had even done it. But never in my wildest nightmares did I ever think it would ever happen to someone I knew this well. Someone who had known me ever since I was born, who showed compassion and understanding, who immediately accepted me when I came out to her. Suzanne lay there, cold and lifeless with dark circles under her closed eyes, and blood on her everywhere. Why hadn’t I come up here sooner? I could have stopped this. It’s my fault. I could have talked her out of it. How could I?! Self-accusatory thoughts racked my mind. I was blaming myself for my sister’s choices, but I was too much in shock to even notice.
That was a life-changing experience for me. It was also a life threatening experience. For six months I felt suicidal, routinely cutting myself at least twice a day. I became withdrawn, and at time even violent or abusive. My mom was an emotional wreck also, and at time we would get into such huge arguments that she would storm out of the house and leave for a motel, leaving me alone in my house. I never talked to my friends, even though they tried very hard to make me feel at least a little bit better. I would end up screaming at them that I didn’t need anyone’s help, from then on they didn’t try quite as hard to cheer me up. It took an extremely long time for me to return back to my normal state, and it took a lot of people’s time, effort and help. I returned to normal, but my actions before had destroyed me and my mom’s relationship. We never treated each other the same again, getting into heated arguments over the simplest and smallest of things. I also wasn’t as open with my friends as I was. Even when I felt normal again I still cut myself from time to time, drifting in and out of depression. I still have a drawer full of suicide notes. I’ve learned to put Suzanne’s death behind me, and stopped blaming myself for it. I haven’t forgotten her, and I never will. It’s still a very emotional subject I hardly talk to anyone about, except maybe Charity and my current boyfriend or girlfriend, if I trust them enough to not accidentally flare up my old emotional wounds. I’m just so glad I never went through with my suicide, or I could have caused as much emotional damage to other as Suzanne did to me.
“Hey Gem, what do you say we go to that store, The Ace of Hearts, and go body jewelry shopping? Um, Gem? Gemma? Earth to Gemma?” Charity waved a red acrylic nailed hand in front of my face in an effort to get a response from me. “What…” I guess I was so caught up in my thoughts that I drifted off I some sort of daze or something. “Oh! Yeah, yeah, shopping seems fun.”
“Gem, are you ok? You seemed lost..” Charity looked at me worriedly, with her beautiful blue eyes and striking red and black eyelashes staring at me.
“I’m sorry. I was…thinking. Sorry. I’m ok, don’t worry.” I assured her I was ok.
“Are you sure, Gem? No problems, no issues, just thinking?” I didn’t really like Charity prying into my thoughts, but I knew that she was just trying to make sure I was okay, because she went through Suzanne’s death with me, and that was just a little over a year ago.
“Yes, Charity. I’m completely and utterly sure that I’m fine. Now let’s go.” I began walking towards the door.
“Okay, just as long as you’re sure.” Charity skipped over to me and put her arm around me, walking with me. We got out the door and got in my car. I was driving; she was in the passenger’s seat. I started the car and began driving.
“Wait, where is this store? You’re the one who knows where it is, so why am I driving?”
“You just keep going straight. I’ll tell you where to go, don’t worry.”
With Charity acting as a backseat driver, we got to The Ace Of Hearts in about 10 minutes.
We parked, got out of the car, and walked up to the sore. It looked very cool and very indie
“So this is it. It looks very rad, Charity. Good store choice, as always.”
“Thanks. Now let’s go in!” Charity grabbed my hand and excitedly pulled me into the store. Adorning many of the walls was amazing looking displays of assorted body jewelry you wouldn’t find anywhere else. After Charity carefully studied the walls for a few minutes, she ran over to one and beckoned me over. There was the flower tongue ring she had raved to me about. She eagerly picked it up.
“See, this is it! Don’t you just absolutely love it?”
It was made of the same metal my current barbell was made of, but some of the metal had rhinestones on it, giving color to the flower.
“Yeah Charity, I do love it. Now let’s go try and find a matching eyebrow stud for you. We can match for school tomorrow!”
“Yeah, let’s try and find one, Gem. Good idea!”
Charity began looking around for the eyebrow section of the store. I knew when she found it, because she did an adorable little jump for joy. Then she began studying the rows and rows of jewelry for a flower one. It took her a few minutes, but she eventually found it.
“Oh my god, they actually have it, Gemma! Come look, it’s exactly like the one you just found!”
Charity seemed ecstatic on finding the jewelry. She ran up to the cashier after grabbing my item, and paid as fast as she could.
After paying for the jewelry, we got back into my car, and I took Charity back to her house. Then I drove drearily back to my house. I didn’t want to go back to the hellhole. When I got home I found my mother waiting for me. Not a good sign.
“Gemma-Leigh Wyle, you do not just leave without asking me for 3 hours. Who knows where you could’ve been? I bet you were snorting coke and making out with that disaster Charity like the delinquent you look like!”
I was shocked and offended by my mother’s harsh accusatory words.
“Mom. One, why the hell would I ever do something as stupid as snort coke? I learned that fricken lesson about drugs from Condra! And two, why would I be making out with Charity? She is not a disaster! Only you with you one-track stereotypical mind would ever think things so horribly wrong. And no matter how many times you tell me, I do not look like a delinquent!” I just went over to Charity’s house and went shopping! God, mother. You suck!”
I angrily stormed upstairs. I couldn’t believe her. I felt hot, angry tears welling up in my eyes and threatening to spill out any second. Soon they were running down my face. I wiped my eyes, smudging my eye makeup. I got on my bed, softly crying. I pulled out the covers and threw them over myself, closed my eyes, and tried to go to sleep.
It was foggy. So foggy I could barely see anything. I could hardly even see my hand in front of my face.
“Hello? Um, wh-where am I?”
~~~
OH LOOK CLIFFHANGER 8D
So I read it over, enjoyed it, and now am gonna post it. YEY. I'm posting in parts because it's so long, probably post once a day. (:
Oh, and it's still a WIP. I never finished it. x.x
Title: Untitled NaNoWriMo piece Part 1
Author: Cassidy
Summary: Um..it starts as realfic but delves into fantasy. :D
Rating: Probably pg-13 for the whole thing.
Warnings: Depictions of suicide, homosexuality, mild language, girlkissing, mentally insane people :P
A/N: FEEDBACK IS S♥ MUCH L♥VE. Rlynao. Bad or good, just tell me stuff. xD And this is unbeta'd, unedited, taken straight from when I wrote it in November.
~~~
I swear, sometimes I think I’m the only sane one in my house. I lay on my bed on the soft, fluffy navy blue comforter, lounging lazily while absentmindedly flipping through an old issue of Seventeen, stopping once in a while to chuckle at the superficiality of some of the magazine’s articles. Suddenly an all-too familiar voice rang out.
“Gemma! Gemma-Leigh!! Come downstairs! Now!”
It was my mother’s voice, something I dread to hear every day. She was probably going to take one look at me before shrieking in her shrill, annoying voice that I looked like a delinquent, a miscreant, or something of the sort. Or maybe my favorite: “I rue the day I ever bought you that black eyeliner!” I groaned. I seriously couldn’t wait until I was old enough to move out of this hellhole and go live on my own; be independent. “I’m coming, mother...”
I choked out the word ‘mother’. I heard the shrill voice once again. “Gemma-Leigh now means now! You get down here this instant!” I sat up and got myself out of bed lazily. “I said I’m coming. God!” I yelled. I got up, pulling down my black Sex Pistols tank. I grudgingly walked over to my mirror in my purple socks and stuck my tongue out. I then inserted a smooth, silver barbell through the hole and screwed on the spherical top on. I had gotten my tongue pierced when I was 15 to be ‘rebellious’, but over time I had gotten quite fond of it.
My silver peace sign necklace swung as I walked, and there were chunks of my multicolored hair cut in a side fringe, covering one of my eyes. It was mostly black, but with a little bit of red and blonde in there too. I had on baggy red sweat pants, rolled up to my calves. I slowly walked downstairs to where my mother was waiting for me.
“Gemma, I know you are capable of coming downstairs much faster than you did.”
“But mom, I only took like five minutes!”
“I don’t know what kind of internal clock you have, but I know for a fact you certainly did not take five minutes. Ten, at least!”
This is my mother, Leslie. Mousy brown hair cut short in an attempt to look neat but still made her look tired and old. Typical middle-age clothes; high pants and everything. ”Look, mom. I’m sorry I took five minutes more getting downstairs than you expected. What do you want anyways?” I was too tired of putting up with an argument. “I wanted to tell you that I’d like you to help me unload the dishwasher.” I groaned. “Mom, don’t you remember? I already did it once today. I’m going over to Charity’s house. Bye.” I barely finished my sentence before walking out of the house and closing the door in a huff.
I got into my car, a red Camaro. My purse was in there. It was covered with overlapping Playbills from assorted Broadway musicals, and on it were about ten pins that I had put on, with cool designs or bands on them. I reached in and grabbed my phone, flipping it open to send a fast text message to Charity to tell her I was coming to her house.
She was one of the first friends I had made when I came to New York. I had previously lived in Oregon. Boring place, but it had its share of interesting people. Like Condra, my best friend when I lived there. She was a real party girl, going to as many raves as she could fit into her schedule, moshing at concerts and shooting up when time allowed. She was crazy, but I loved her. But one day I heard she OD’d and had almost died. When I came to visit her in the hospital, she wasn’t the same. Her brain was seriously affected, and she could hardly remember who I was, let alone string together words to make a sentence that made sense. It was heart-wrenching to hear the doctor tell me she’ll never be the same again. But moving away helped me put all the grief behind me. I met new people, and was back to my normal self soon.
Then came Charity. I hadn’t really known anyone in my school, so I decided to visit a Gay-Straight Alliance one day, just because I had nothing better to do. Charity was one of the bi ones, like me. She told me she had been horribly harassed and this was the only place she wouldn’t be called a fag or a dyke. We ended up talking, and in a short time we exchanged phone numbers and then we were talking almost constantly, it seemed. I guess you could say we were kind of inseparable. Sure, I had a crush on her a few times, but we both agreed at the beginning of our friendship that getting into a relationship together would be too weird, and if we broke up we might never talk to each other again.
I pulled up to Charity’s house and parked. She was already waiting for me outside. As always, the first thing I notice is her fire engine red hair, as wild as her personality. She was wearing ripped fishnets and a baggy Rolling Stones shirt with a dark washed jean skirt. She had on while kitten heels with a cherry print, and her hair was pulled into three messy ponytails. Her eye shadow was striped red and black, and her mascara was black on top, red on the bottom. “I see you stuck with a color theme today,” I laughed and hugged her. She hugged me back and kissed my cheek.
“Does that mean you don’t like it?” Charity looked at me with big light blue eyes. “Of course not! I fricken adore it, Charity.” She responded with a wide grin. “Thanks. Now come in.” She began pulling me by the sleeve into her house. “Why are you in such a hurry?”
“Well, I happen to have chocolate chip cookie dough waiting for us.” She said in a singsong voice, still dragging me by my sleeve, which was merely a tank top strap. “Awesome. Glad I could come to your house. I couldn’t stand being in that house with my mom for another second. You are so damn lucky you have your own house.”
“Aww, I’m sorry, Gem. Is your mom really all that horrible? And I don’t have my own house; it’s just a studio, that’s all. Hardly a house. But it’s amazing living on my own.” She twirled around, her baggy shirt puffing up as she spun. “My mom won’t let me move out of the house till I’m at least 19. It sucks. I’m still 17, but you’re special enough that your 18th birthday comes early.” I stuck my tongue out at her playfully. She poked the barbell. “You know, I saw the cutest tongue ring at this store earlier. It was a little flower! I was gonna get it for you, but I forgot my wallet…” She explained sadly. “It’s fine, Chari! You don’t have to buy me things. Where did you see it?” Charity was about the sweetest girl on the planet. “At a store called The Ace of Hearts. I’ll be sure to give you the directions later.” “Cool. Maybe I’ll find a matching eyebrow stud for you and we can wear them together.” Currently adorning Charity’s eyebrow was a stud with lips on it.
“Speaking of eyebrow studs, I am completely loving yours.” Charity reached over into a bowl on the counter and brought up a finger full of cookie dough. She shoved it into my mouth. “Thanks. Gemma, you should really get your eyebrow done, you know. It’ll look so cute.”
I swallowed the sweet, thick dough. “I don’t know. I already have a double lobe piercing, cartilage piercing, and tongue piercing. I think I’m done.”
“Aw, come on, Gem! You know you want to! At least, I want you to.” Charity poked me with a sharp heel. “Ow! You suck. I came here in my socks, so I don’t have anything to poke you with...” I whined. “Did you forget your shoes again? This is the third time, Gem!”
“Err, maybe... Or maybe I’m just starting a new trend!” I said defensively, stifling laughter. “Yes, Gemma. Of course. No shoes. That’ll catch on in a flash!” She said sarcastically. “Well, anyways, speaking of more serious things, do you know Juliette Speare?”
“No. I’ve heard of her once or twice. Who is she?”
“She happens to be the cutest girl I’ve ever seen! I can’t believe you haven’t heard of her! I so, so, so need to introduce you to tomorrow.”
“The cutest girl you’ve ever seen? I thought I was the cutest girl you’ve ever seen...” I winked at her teasingly.
“Haha, you can be in second place. You’ll understand why when you see her. Also, she is the best guitar player I’ve ever seen. I heard her garage band once. It pretty much sucked except for her.” Charity laughed as she recalled hearing them.
“Super cute and super good guitarist? Now I really want to meet her!” I’ve seemed to always have a certain thing for guitarists. I don’t know why, I just do.
“Hey Charity, do you have a yearbook from last year? Then I could see a picture of her!” Now the first thing I wanted to do tomorrow was meet, or at least look at, Juliette Speare.
“She’s not in last year’s yearbook. She’s new this year. Sorry, Gemma.”
Charity fiddled with her red tipped, square acrylic nails. From the moment I saw Charity, I loved her unique, indie style of clothes, jewelry, makeup, and everything else. She has introduced me to some of my favorite bands that I wouldn’t have ever heard of if she hadn’t told me about them. She also bought me my Playbill purse for my birthday, and now it’s one of my favorite things. I love her genuine, caring personality and her wild outlook on life. She lived every day to its fullest and I valued her for that. The thing is, sometimes I wished we had never agreed to never be in a relationship together because lately that’s exactly what I’ve been wanting. I know I’ll just have to get over it and move on, much like Condra and Suzanne, my sister.
Suzanne seemed to be the family favorite, golden angelic hair, a straight A student, always living up to her parent’s expectations. Until her senior year, her life seemed just about perfect. After her senior prom and homecoming queen crowning, Suzanne and about 5 of her friends went out partying. They all either got really drunk or really high, maybe both, including Suzanne. With that being unexpected enough, something even more unexpected happened. That night she had gotten with about three guys in an alley, unprotected.
The next day she got screened for any STDs, and she came up HIV positive. I remember, she came home a mess, eyes all red and puffy with tears streaming down her face. She ran sobbing up to the bathroom, and she locked herself in. I heard her wailing and screaming, and then it sounded like she was being tortured. I knew she must be upset, but I had gotten worried. After 20 minutes spent unsuccessfully picking the bathroom door lock with a paper clip, I kicked the door out of sheer anger and frustration. Then to my surprise the door swung open. I got in. What I saw I’ll never forget. In the bathroom, sitting on the toilet seat, was Suzanne. Covered in blood. So much blood. On the floor were her HIV test results. I had picked them up, and they were red and sticky from her blood. Still in shock, I shakily stepped over to my sister and touched her, saying in a nervous voice, “Su-Suzanne? Hello? Suze?” Tears had started to well up, as my voice got even shakier and started break. “Are you…Are you…alive?” The last word came out in barely a whisper; I was almost unable to say it because more than anything I didn’t want it to be true. “Please, oh please, say something. Say anything. Just breathe, at least... Oh, God, no...”
Tears steamed down my face and onto the floor mixing with the deep crimson already pooled on the floor. I grabbed her wrist, but instantly recoiled, whimpering. Her wrists had been violently slashed. Deep vertical lines were carved in to the smooth, ivory skin of her inner wrist, crusted with the rust color of dried blood. It still oozed fresh blood, bright red blood. Her other wrist was dripping as well. My mouth was open, wide with shock. I was unable to say anything, or do anything. It was like a bad dream where something horrible happens and you try to scream, you try to run away, but your throat closes up and your legs feels like concrete, glued to the ground. I felt the contents of my stomach slowly creeping its way back up my throat, the acidic taste burning my throat. I tried to swallow, but instead gagged and retched as the bile dripped down my chin, mixing with whatever was on the floor already. The smell was almost unbearable and I tried to move but I couldn’t, I was still frozen. My sister was dead. The second I thought that I immediately blocked it out, ruling out that fact it could be true. She could never be dead. Why her? Oh hell, why her? Coughing and violently sobbing at the same time, I was able to choke out a few words. “Please….no...” As if she could hear me and suddenly wake up. Like she had a pulse, like she had a beating heart. I could barely speak; the words came out almost inaudible, I was so choked with sobs. More tears were now coming down my face than I ever thought possible. My body was involuntarily shaking, and time seemed frozen. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had seen movies, read books, and watched TV shows about people committing suicide. Some people from my school had even done it. But never in my wildest nightmares did I ever think it would ever happen to someone I knew this well. Someone who had known me ever since I was born, who showed compassion and understanding, who immediately accepted me when I came out to her. Suzanne lay there, cold and lifeless with dark circles under her closed eyes, and blood on her everywhere. Why hadn’t I come up here sooner? I could have stopped this. It’s my fault. I could have talked her out of it. How could I?! Self-accusatory thoughts racked my mind. I was blaming myself for my sister’s choices, but I was too much in shock to even notice.
That was a life-changing experience for me. It was also a life threatening experience. For six months I felt suicidal, routinely cutting myself at least twice a day. I became withdrawn, and at time even violent or abusive. My mom was an emotional wreck also, and at time we would get into such huge arguments that she would storm out of the house and leave for a motel, leaving me alone in my house. I never talked to my friends, even though they tried very hard to make me feel at least a little bit better. I would end up screaming at them that I didn’t need anyone’s help, from then on they didn’t try quite as hard to cheer me up. It took an extremely long time for me to return back to my normal state, and it took a lot of people’s time, effort and help. I returned to normal, but my actions before had destroyed me and my mom’s relationship. We never treated each other the same again, getting into heated arguments over the simplest and smallest of things. I also wasn’t as open with my friends as I was. Even when I felt normal again I still cut myself from time to time, drifting in and out of depression. I still have a drawer full of suicide notes. I’ve learned to put Suzanne’s death behind me, and stopped blaming myself for it. I haven’t forgotten her, and I never will. It’s still a very emotional subject I hardly talk to anyone about, except maybe Charity and my current boyfriend or girlfriend, if I trust them enough to not accidentally flare up my old emotional wounds. I’m just so glad I never went through with my suicide, or I could have caused as much emotional damage to other as Suzanne did to me.
“Hey Gem, what do you say we go to that store, The Ace of Hearts, and go body jewelry shopping? Um, Gem? Gemma? Earth to Gemma?” Charity waved a red acrylic nailed hand in front of my face in an effort to get a response from me. “What…” I guess I was so caught up in my thoughts that I drifted off I some sort of daze or something. “Oh! Yeah, yeah, shopping seems fun.”
“Gem, are you ok? You seemed lost..” Charity looked at me worriedly, with her beautiful blue eyes and striking red and black eyelashes staring at me.
“I’m sorry. I was…thinking. Sorry. I’m ok, don’t worry.” I assured her I was ok.
“Are you sure, Gem? No problems, no issues, just thinking?” I didn’t really like Charity prying into my thoughts, but I knew that she was just trying to make sure I was okay, because she went through Suzanne’s death with me, and that was just a little over a year ago.
“Yes, Charity. I’m completely and utterly sure that I’m fine. Now let’s go.” I began walking towards the door.
“Okay, just as long as you’re sure.” Charity skipped over to me and put her arm around me, walking with me. We got out the door and got in my car. I was driving; she was in the passenger’s seat. I started the car and began driving.
“Wait, where is this store? You’re the one who knows where it is, so why am I driving?”
“You just keep going straight. I’ll tell you where to go, don’t worry.”
With Charity acting as a backseat driver, we got to The Ace Of Hearts in about 10 minutes.
We parked, got out of the car, and walked up to the sore. It looked very cool and very indie
“So this is it. It looks very rad, Charity. Good store choice, as always.”
“Thanks. Now let’s go in!” Charity grabbed my hand and excitedly pulled me into the store. Adorning many of the walls was amazing looking displays of assorted body jewelry you wouldn’t find anywhere else. After Charity carefully studied the walls for a few minutes, she ran over to one and beckoned me over. There was the flower tongue ring she had raved to me about. She eagerly picked it up.
“See, this is it! Don’t you just absolutely love it?”
It was made of the same metal my current barbell was made of, but some of the metal had rhinestones on it, giving color to the flower.
“Yeah Charity, I do love it. Now let’s go try and find a matching eyebrow stud for you. We can match for school tomorrow!”
“Yeah, let’s try and find one, Gem. Good idea!”
Charity began looking around for the eyebrow section of the store. I knew when she found it, because she did an adorable little jump for joy. Then she began studying the rows and rows of jewelry for a flower one. It took her a few minutes, but she eventually found it.
“Oh my god, they actually have it, Gemma! Come look, it’s exactly like the one you just found!”
Charity seemed ecstatic on finding the jewelry. She ran up to the cashier after grabbing my item, and paid as fast as she could.
After paying for the jewelry, we got back into my car, and I took Charity back to her house. Then I drove drearily back to my house. I didn’t want to go back to the hellhole. When I got home I found my mother waiting for me. Not a good sign.
“Gemma-Leigh Wyle, you do not just leave without asking me for 3 hours. Who knows where you could’ve been? I bet you were snorting coke and making out with that disaster Charity like the delinquent you look like!”
I was shocked and offended by my mother’s harsh accusatory words.
“Mom. One, why the hell would I ever do something as stupid as snort coke? I learned that fricken lesson about drugs from Condra! And two, why would I be making out with Charity? She is not a disaster! Only you with you one-track stereotypical mind would ever think things so horribly wrong. And no matter how many times you tell me, I do not look like a delinquent!” I just went over to Charity’s house and went shopping! God, mother. You suck!”
I angrily stormed upstairs. I couldn’t believe her. I felt hot, angry tears welling up in my eyes and threatening to spill out any second. Soon they were running down my face. I wiped my eyes, smudging my eye makeup. I got on my bed, softly crying. I pulled out the covers and threw them over myself, closed my eyes, and tried to go to sleep.
It was foggy. So foggy I could barely see anything. I could hardly even see my hand in front of my face.
“Hello? Um, wh-where am I?”
~~~
OH LOOK CLIFFHANGER 8D
16 July 2008
If you wanna know the truth, make or break my day.
O HAY AGAIN.
8D
Yesterday I was once again at the Laguna Arts Festival, but this time to see the Pageant of the Masters, a sort of presentation/performance of living pictures, where paintings are recreated using real people and stage lighting and all that jazz.
And I really doubt this is relevant, but I had four Cokes {the SODA, u guiz!! m'gosherz.} beforehand at this restaurant. YEY.
But anyway the pageant was pretty kewlioh. I think it would be also kewlioh {I know, you adore my spelling of that word} to audition to be in next year's pageant. Anyone can try out, it just depends on your measurements and what sizes/whatever they need. [:
...I thought I'd have more to say on that subject, hahaha. GUESS NOT.
Just for the record, still hooked on Mavid. 8D
This morning {at 9am, meaning I had to get up at like 8, ugh, not good when you are so excellent at staying up late. 2am x.x} I had to go to this meeting for the Vacation Bible School I'm involunteering {yes, INvolunteering} for. But zomg then before I was leaving I was checkin' ze email as always and found out Cara is going to the exact same VBS to volunteer! So that was epic newzies. :D But I'm helping out for 3rd/some 4th&5th grade and she's assisting for the 2nd graders, but we'll still see each other before/after/whatever.
Oh, and today I worked at my dad's studio. FILING PAPERS/RECIEPTS/JUNK, OH WHAT FUN!!
And then also I was using the wi-fi there to email Cara but it wasn't send so that was fail. And she sent me all kinds of pwn David Cook picciezzzzzzzzzzzzz. which is most definitely NOT fail.
OH OH ZOMG I SO TOTALLY ALMOST FORGOT. I HAVE A GAME FOR YOU, READERS! {are there 2 of you? 3? I know, i'm so popular.}
I was bored in the car when we were driving to the zoo and I had my iPod on shuffle so I wrote a short line of lyrics from every song, totaling 10 songs. I then numbered each line of lyrics.
MKAY, HERE'S WHAT YOO DOOOOOO.
You just gotta guess what song each line of lyrics is from. For hints I guess you could look at my music favorites in my blogger profile/IJ interests.
No googling lyrics unless there is a life on the line~~!!
There you go. Ph33r my hamdwriting.
1.
2. I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry {Guessed by Zoe}
3.
4.
5.
6.
7. Lady Madonna - The Beatles {guessed by Zoe}
8.
9.
10.
^I'll edit those when people guess, I'll fill in their names/link to their blog/whatever in the space of what number they guessed right.
NOW PARTICIPATE!!!!!!!
8D
Yesterday I was once again at the Laguna Arts Festival, but this time to see the Pageant of the Masters, a sort of presentation/performance of living pictures, where paintings are recreated using real people and stage lighting and all that jazz.
And I really doubt this is relevant, but I had four Cokes {the SODA, u guiz!! m'gosherz.} beforehand at this restaurant. YEY.
But anyway the pageant was pretty kewlioh. I think it would be also kewlioh {I know, you adore my spelling of that word} to audition to be in next year's pageant. Anyone can try out, it just depends on your measurements and what sizes/whatever they need. [:
...I thought I'd have more to say on that subject, hahaha. GUESS NOT.
Just for the record, still hooked on Mavid. 8D
This morning {at 9am, meaning I had to get up at like 8, ugh, not good when you are so excellent at staying up late. 2am x.x} I had to go to this meeting for the Vacation Bible School I'm involunteering {yes, INvolunteering} for. But zomg then before I was leaving I was checkin' ze email as always and found out Cara is going to the exact same VBS to volunteer! So that was epic newzies. :D But I'm helping out for 3rd/some 4th&5th grade and she's assisting for the 2nd graders, but we'll still see each other before/after/whatever.
Oh, and today I worked at my dad's studio. FILING PAPERS/RECIEPTS/JUNK, OH WHAT FUN!!
And then also I was using the wi-fi there to email Cara but it wasn't send so that was fail. And she sent me all kinds of pwn David Cook picciezzzzzzzzzzzzz. which is most definitely NOT fail.
OH OH ZOMG I SO TOTALLY ALMOST FORGOT. I HAVE A GAME FOR YOU, READERS! {are there 2 of you? 3? I know, i'm so popular.}
I was bored in the car when we were driving to the zoo and I had my iPod on shuffle so I wrote a short line of lyrics from every song, totaling 10 songs. I then numbered each line of lyrics.
MKAY, HERE'S WHAT YOO DOOOOOO.
You just gotta guess what song each line of lyrics is from. For hints I guess you could look at my music favorites in my blogger profile/IJ interests.
No googling lyrics unless there is a life on the line~~!!
There you go. Ph33r my hamdwriting.
1.
2. I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry {Guessed by Zoe}
3.
4.
5.
6.
7. Lady Madonna - The Beatles {guessed by Zoe}
8.
9.
10.
^I'll edit those when people guess, I'll fill in their names/link to their blog/whatever in the space of what number they guessed right.
NOW PARTICIPATE!!!!!!!
15 July 2008
All was golden when the day met the night
I got lots to saaayyy this time.
Mkay.
Soo, on Saturday I spent the day at the Laguna Arts Festival with my dad and Marissa. It was amazing she could come because normally her mom doesn't let her go anywhere with my dad. {maybe it's a mormon thing xDD} And it was funnariffic. We were there from like 2-10pm and walked practically the whole time. We went around to a bunch of the artist's booth and gave them compliments in their comment book, signing it 'Your Special Friends' :D We also painted a ceramic pot, we splattered the paint all over it, making a very nice mess over everything including my pants. xD The my dad sent us on a mission to get a receipt book for him and we walked down to the office store, which was completely empty with one employee that looked kinda nerdy. He never spoke to us the whole time xD We tried to go into this cool thrift store but it was closed so we got Golden Spoon instead. AND WE GOT DINOSAUR SPRINKLES ON OUR ICE CREAM 8D It was very hardcore. Then later we went to this restaurant that was very overpriced and they couldn't add chicken to my pasta. x.x But we sat really close the the entrance/exit so everyone was was coming or leaving passed us. A guy passed by, pointed at me, and said 'You watch out for people like me!' and walked away. We had another guy look at us weirdly and I overheard I guy talking to the hostess saying 'I'd like a romantic table for three' xDD So that was our escapades at the festival. Be jealous.
And yay, I just updated my iPod Touch to 2.0 with the App Store :D I have Twitteriffic, Tap Tap Revenge and AIM. Shnazz.
Mkay.
Soo, on Saturday I spent the day at the Laguna Arts Festival with my dad and Marissa. It was amazing she could come because normally her mom doesn't let her go anywhere with my dad. {maybe it's a mormon thing xDD} And it was funnariffic. We were there from like 2-10pm and walked practically the whole time. We went around to a bunch of the artist's booth and gave them compliments in their comment book, signing it 'Your Special Friends' :D We also painted a ceramic pot, we splattered the paint all over it, making a very nice mess over everything including my pants. xD The my dad sent us on a mission to get a receipt book for him and we walked down to the office store, which was completely empty with one employee that looked kinda nerdy. He never spoke to us the whole time xD We tried to go into this cool thrift store but it was closed so we got Golden Spoon instead. AND WE GOT DINOSAUR SPRINKLES ON OUR ICE CREAM 8D It was very hardcore. Then later we went to this restaurant that was very overpriced and they couldn't add chicken to my pasta. x.x But we sat really close the the entrance/exit so everyone was was coming or leaving passed us. A guy passed by, pointed at me, and said 'You watch out for people like me!' and walked away. We had another guy look at us weirdly and I overheard I guy talking to the hostess saying 'I'd like a romantic table for three' xDD So that was our escapades at the festival. Be jealous.
And yay, I just updated my iPod Touch to 2.0 with the App Store :D I have Twitteriffic, Tap Tap Revenge and AIM. Shnazz.
10 July 2008
I wish I could fly, and magically appear and disappear
Sooo. I'm x-posting this to my IJ. (:
I had this insane dream last night.
Mkay, form what I can remember this happened first. I was wearing an Annaleigh Ashford shirt and was all happy I got it, I have no clue why. Stuff happened that I forgot.
Thennn I was with my sister and dad in some place we were never in before. There was a church, and for some unknown reason we went in it. Which is weird, because my dad /never/ goes to church. I think I had some kind of bad feeling about it. But nothing weird happened that I can remember.
Now's the part I remember most. It was a completely different setting, and I was Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd. no, not a stage production of the show. A real thing. o.0 But there was no barber shop, just a room where Sweeney would kill the people and I remember my job was that if there was more than one person in the room, to distract them so they did not notice the person they were with was being murdered. 0.o I remember there was like, kids in the room and I thought 'I don't think he would kill the children, would he?' I forget if he did or not. But that was the majority of the dream, me aiding Sweeney Todd in murders so we didn't get found out. So that was def an interesting dream. xDD
And Tuesday I saw this musical in Laguna called The Marvelous Wonderettes, it was a cute '50's jukebox musical. With four people in the cast, all girls. It was set in a 1958 prom. It was cute but not theatrical genius or anything. But I did hear that it's going to be Off-Brodway in the fall, kinda cool. [:
I had this insane dream last night.
Mkay, form what I can remember this happened first. I was wearing an Annaleigh Ashford shirt and was all happy I got it, I have no clue why. Stuff happened that I forgot.
Thennn I was with my sister and dad in some place we were never in before. There was a church, and for some unknown reason we went in it. Which is weird, because my dad /never/ goes to church. I think I had some kind of bad feeling about it. But nothing weird happened that I can remember.
Now's the part I remember most. It was a completely different setting, and I was Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd. no, not a stage production of the show. A real thing. o.0 But there was no barber shop, just a room where Sweeney would kill the people and I remember my job was that if there was more than one person in the room, to distract them so they did not notice the person they were with was being murdered. 0.o I remember there was like, kids in the room and I thought 'I don't think he would kill the children, would he?' I forget if he did or not. But that was the majority of the dream, me aiding Sweeney Todd in murders so we didn't get found out. So that was def an interesting dream. xDD
And Tuesday I saw this musical in Laguna called The Marvelous Wonderettes, it was a cute '50's jukebox musical. With four people in the cast, all girls. It was set in a 1958 prom. It was cute but not theatrical genius or anything. But I did hear that it's going to be Off-Brodway in the fall, kinda cool. [:
08 July 2008
Take a look at the invisible girl, here she is, clear as the day
Ummmm Cara's beating me at blogging so I thought I'd catch up. 8D
I listened to Next to Normal and was utterly and hopelessly confused. :\ BUT THE MUSIC WAS FANTASTIC! And Jenn Damiano is amazingly amazing. :D So I recommend it albeit it being super confusing. But that's probably since I only have audio, a video would help.
And aaalso Cara got Cookie's address and already wrote her letter and I have nooo idea what to write! But I will use big words, lol.
And I thought I was so over Mavid since I basically OD'd on fanfiction that one day. Lol. I still like it though. = I heard from this one girl that met them that MJ was like 'remember when you won and I was whispering sweet nothings in your ear?' and then apparently the 2 said something the girl couldn't hear and she asked MJ what Cookie said and he was all ' o I can't repeat that sry'
LULZ MAAAAAAAAVID. Fo realz. And also this one picture I would post if I could find it. IT'S SO GREAT. But I'm too lazy to find it. x.x
And I don't think I could ever warm up to Cookleta. Just..Archie's waaaayy too But this one fic was so great, it's so hilarious, but that pairings were all over the place, Mavid, Cookleta, MJ/Herdandez, Archie/Herdandez, Carly/Amanda, and it was just like 'LOLWHUT'. <--whoooo run-on sentence majorly. But it was fun to read, even when everyone got eliminated and it was solely Cookleta but I still was like 'Cookleta...ehhhh..x.x' I guess it can be /tolerable/ when full of fluff though. Still, for me, Cookleta=notrlyformee. RANT OVAH.
I still like Mavid the best. OH I was watching a buncha Cook interviews and one of the questions was like 'What makes you smile?' Cook's answer..'Michael Johns.' AWH. And I saw video from the Vegas tour and during the last group number Cookie and MJ do the robot. Awh.
I made a buncha album art for my Cookie & MJ & whatever else AI songs I had ripped from youtube and thus, not having album art. And it turned out pretty shnazzayy.
Also, I have a question. Why are my 'post numbers' so ridiculously high? Like, in this picture..
It says I have 300+ posts and I most definitely do NOT have anything close to that. BLOGGER YOU SPEAK LIIIIIEEEZZ.
PS I'm seeing some musical today. 8D
I listened to Next to Normal and was utterly and hopelessly confused. :\ BUT THE MUSIC WAS FANTASTIC! And Jenn Damiano is amazingly amazing. :D So I recommend it albeit it being super confusing. But that's probably since I only have audio, a video would help.
And aaalso Cara got Cookie's address and already wrote her letter and I have nooo idea what to write! But I will use big words, lol.
And I thought I was so over Mavid since I basically OD'd on fanfiction that one day. Lol. I still like it though. = I heard from this one girl that met them that MJ was like 'remember when you won and I was whispering sweet nothings in your ear?' and then apparently the 2 said something the girl couldn't hear and she asked MJ what Cookie said and he was all ' o I can't repeat that sry'
LULZ MAAAAAAAAVID. Fo realz. And also this one picture I would post if I could find it. IT'S SO GREAT. But I'm too lazy to find it. x.x
And I don't think I could ever warm up to Cookleta. Just..Archie's waaaayy too But this one fic was so great, it's so hilarious, but that pairings were all over the place, Mavid, Cookleta, MJ/Herdandez, Archie/Herdandez, Carly/Amanda, and it was just like 'LOLWHUT'. <--whoooo run-on sentence majorly. But it was fun to read, even when everyone got eliminated and it was solely Cookleta but I still was like 'Cookleta...ehhhh..x.x' I guess it can be /tolerable/ when full of fluff though. Still, for me, Cookleta=notrlyformee. RANT OVAH.
I still like Mavid the best. OH I was watching a buncha Cook interviews and one of the questions was like 'What makes you smile?' Cook's answer..'Michael Johns.' AWH. And I saw video from the Vegas tour and during the last group number Cookie and MJ do the robot. Awh.
I made a buncha album art for my Cookie & MJ & whatever else AI songs I had ripped from youtube and thus, not having album art. And it turned out pretty shnazzayy.
Also, I have a question. Why are my 'post numbers' so ridiculously high? Like, in this picture..
It says I have 300+ posts and I most definitely do NOT have anything close to that. BLOGGER YOU SPEAK LIIIIIEEEZZ.
PS I'm seeing some musical today. 8D
05 July 2008
She is just a girl who claims that I am the one
So now Cookie is adorning both my main and front phone wallpaper screens. The front one being the every-so-thud-worthy People mag picture and the main screen being the one with the VERY NICE GUITAR(; Haha.
So I thought my 4th was gonna be suuper laame. My dad, grandma and g-ma's friend were out pretty much aaaaaallllll day working on setting up for the Laguna Art Festival my Dad is in, so at home it my my aunt, 5-yr-old cousin, sister and me. I read copious amounts of Mavid fanfiction. And ate food. That was pretty much my day. Until we went out for the fireworks. So they started and I was talking with my AI-loving online friend on my phone AIM/watching fireworks. Suddenly the fireworks stopped after just a bit. People were like 'whut. zomg fire!' so there was a fire, we didn't know if it was house or brush, but it turned out to be a brush fire. I videotaped some of it on my phone and was gonna put it on youtube but turns out the file is too big to email to myself so that's laaaaaame. I sent a group text telling like 15 people and I got soooo many texts back, it was madness. I also was twittering madly about what was happening. There were I think 2 fire trucks and a police car driving around. It was intense, man! There's even a news article about it!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25537468/
Also someone's car was on fire earlier yesterday. And during all the fire drama, my aunt had parked her car in a different spot than she had when she went to get us food since someone took her spot. Soo our icky ick neighbor who we've always had issues with and is a member of the Association was yelling at my aunt, my aunt saying she was my dad's sister and just visiting and it was stupid she was yelling at her. Then they started like, cussing each other out! I tell you it was a verry exciting Fourth this year. (:
Oh, here's my Cookie concert videos from the tour. On my channel, www.youtube.com/emocass. :D I really want his fanmail addres since I wanna send him mail of the fan variety. Cara needs it tooooooo.
Gahhh. TWELVE days til Lilli, Brian, Skylar, Phoebe AND Remy leave. This is too terrible. I haven't even seen the effing show yet! D:
And now Cara knows all about Mavid, Davandy {which I'm not all that into}, "bromance" {that term is..gah. but that's what they use on the AI boards. whatever.} and the 'fanbase' xD All that nice stuff. I also was so fangirly and rambling to everyone about Cookie and everything haha. Yevi and I were talking about it on AIM and she said she had read naughty Jonas fanfics. XD I still don't get the Jonas appeal. But whatever.
Oh, here's the 'VERY NICE GUITAR' pic.
:D
Oh, and read this, it's stunning and full of angst. AND SURPRISINGLY NOT THAT BAD. :D
http://coyotes-sing.livejournal.com/1173.html
So I thought my 4th was gonna be suuper laame. My dad, grandma and g-ma's friend were out pretty much aaaaaallllll day working on setting up for the Laguna Art Festival my Dad is in, so at home it my my aunt, 5-yr-old cousin, sister and me. I read copious amounts of Mavid fanfiction. And ate food. That was pretty much my day. Until we went out for the fireworks. So they started and I was talking with my AI-loving online friend on my phone AIM/watching fireworks. Suddenly the fireworks stopped after just a bit. People were like 'whut. zomg fire!' so there was a fire, we didn't know if it was house or brush, but it turned out to be a brush fire. I videotaped some of it on my phone and was gonna put it on youtube but turns out the file is too big to email to myself so that's laaaaaame. I sent a group text telling like 15 people and I got soooo many texts back, it was madness. I also was twittering madly about what was happening. There were I think 2 fire trucks and a police car driving around. It was intense, man! There's even a news article about it!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25537468/
Also someone's car was on fire earlier yesterday. And during all the fire drama, my aunt had parked her car in a different spot than she had when she went to get us food since someone took her spot. Soo our icky ick neighbor who we've always had issues with and is a member of the Association was yelling at my aunt, my aunt saying she was my dad's sister and just visiting and it was stupid she was yelling at her. Then they started like, cussing each other out! I tell you it was a verry exciting Fourth this year. (:
Oh, here's my Cookie concert videos from the tour. On my channel, www.youtube.com/emocass. :D I really want his fanmail addres since I wanna send him mail of the fan variety. Cara needs it tooooooo.
Gahhh. TWELVE days til Lilli, Brian, Skylar, Phoebe AND Remy leave. This is too terrible. I haven't even seen the effing show yet! D:
And now Cara knows all about Mavid, Davandy {which I'm not all that into}, "bromance" {that term is..gah. but that's what they use on the AI boards. whatever.} and the 'fanbase' xD All that nice stuff. I also was so fangirly and rambling to everyone about Cookie and everything haha. Yevi and I were talking about it on AIM and she said she had read naughty Jonas fanfics. XD I still don't get the Jonas appeal. But whatever.
Oh, here's the 'VERY NICE GUITAR' pic.
:D
Oh, and read this, it's stunning and full of angst. AND SURPRISINGLY NOT THAT BAD. :D
http://coyotes-sing.livejournal.com/1173.html
04 July 2008
I've been alone with you inside my mind.
I have a new addiction that many may frown upon and many may squee upon. 8D
MAVID!
aka the Flyboys aka Michael Johns/David Cook. I'M SORRY, IT'S JUST SO FANGIRL-WORTHY AND THE FANFICTION IS REALLY REALLY REALLY ADDICTING. Dx It makes me want to write some shnazziness. mkay so dun go buggin meh bout me fandom n pairins n junk kthx.
I'm in the process of uploading the Cookie concert vids to the Tube of the You, so if you want the links, I'll give em to you. :D
I also have nao reserved a small spot in my fangirlness for Michael Johns the Aussie with a quite sexy voice if I do say so myself. Like..srsly go listen to It's All Wrong, But It's All Right. *DED* Or Dream On. Now I have them on my iPod. :D Oh, and the I Don't Want To Miss a Thing Studio Version. Gotta love Cookie. <3 I have fallen hard into the pit of super-fangirliness yet again. Majorly, yo.
Oh, and speaking of Idol RPS, CAKE. I JUST found out about this xD I find it slightly adorable. HERE'S A PHOTOSHOP MANIP SOMEONE DID.
Lulzzzz. But like, seriously, if you go here, there a buncha non-manips full of Cake squeeness. xD
Um, anyway, oh! I got Declan Bennett Live at the Living Room audio and it's quite quite shnazzy. <3Declan<3 I also got RENT audio with Declan Roger and Caren!Mimi, but still needta listen to it. I also got a Next to Normal audio, which everyone says is amazing but still need to listen also.
I also put a shnazzy header at the top of my page! It's kinda craptastic graphics-wise, I made it all by myself without any tuts or anything like textures. Kinda boring, but it'll work for now. :)
Oh, happy 4th of July!!!!! I hope this year's 4th gets shnazzier, it's been boringggg except for the Mavid fanfic abundance, lol.
I'll leave you with this pic cuz it's quite gorg.
<3
MAVID!
aka the Flyboys aka Michael Johns/David Cook. I'M SORRY, IT'S JUST SO FANGIRL-WORTHY AND THE FANFICTION IS REALLY REALLY REALLY ADDICTING. Dx It makes me want to write some shnazziness. mkay so dun go buggin meh bout me fandom n pairins n junk kthx.
I'm in the process of uploading the Cookie concert vids to the Tube of the You, so if you want the links, I'll give em to you. :D
I also have nao reserved a small spot in my fangirlness for Michael Johns the Aussie with a quite sexy voice if I do say so myself. Like..srsly go listen to It's All Wrong, But It's All Right. *DED* Or Dream On. Now I have them on my iPod. :D Oh, and the I Don't Want To Miss a Thing Studio Version. Gotta love Cookie. <3 I have fallen hard into the pit of super-fangirliness yet again. Majorly, yo.
Oh, and speaking of Idol RPS, CAKE. I JUST found out about this xD I find it slightly adorable. HERE'S A PHOTOSHOP MANIP SOMEONE DID.
Lulzzzz. But like, seriously, if you go here, there a buncha non-manips full of Cake squeeness. xD
Um, anyway, oh! I got Declan Bennett Live at the Living Room audio and it's quite quite shnazzy. <3Declan<3 I also got RENT audio with Declan Roger and Caren!Mimi, but still needta listen to it. I also got a Next to Normal audio, which everyone says is amazing but still need to listen also.
I also put a shnazzy header at the top of my page! It's kinda craptastic graphics-wise, I made it all by myself without any tuts or anything like textures. Kinda boring, but it'll work for now. :)
Oh, happy 4th of July!!!!! I hope this year's 4th gets shnazzier, it's been boringggg except for the Mavid fanfic abundance, lol.
I'll leave you with this pic cuz it's quite gorg.
<3
03 July 2008
Searching for that ~magic rainbow~ on the horizon
AREN'T RAINDBOWS MAGICAL? 8D
AMERICAN IDOL EFFING TOUR WAS YESTERDAY<3333333
So..we were in the VERYVERYVERY back of the venue. We could NOT be farther back. But at least we were in dead center.
!REVIEW TIME!
So we were waiting to get into the arena with our Cookie shirts on, we saw a buncha peeps with AI-related homemade shirts, me, Cara and my sister had David Cook shirts. We saw a bunch of other Cookie shirts, hooray. While we were waiting this lady driving by was like 'Yay, Cookie! Yay!' about our shirts, aha. In line we were probably being all fangirly, lol. Anyway, we got in and bought our glowy-st00f. I kinda wish I bought the picture that Cara bought. I think you could probably get it online, though. Then we got in and heard this guy blabbering about Poptarts. xD Then it started!!
Chikeze was first. he was very good, better than I expected or remembered. :D
Next was Ramiele. She's so cute&small :D She wasn't incredible but good.
Then MICHAEL JOHNS. <3 Seriously epic win. Like, amazingg Aussie skillz. <3
Then, um, oh, Kristy Lee. She did pretty good, she was never my favorite.
Next it was Carly. She's really good.
Brooke was after that. She was pretty good, I liked how she talked to the audience in between songs, it showed personality. :)
Then Jasonnnnn. I normally don't like him, but he was actually good.
Then Syesha with all her skillz. Seriously, really, good. <3
Then mad screaming & cheering from all the little fangirls for Archie. He was really good, though. During his performance me & Cara were like 'ZOMG COOK NEXT!!' Lol.
OMG. Last but deffff not least it was DAVID EFFIN COOK. <3 The cheering was intense, me&Cara were screeaaming so much. he started out with Hello, which I shot decent video of, and he most certainly pwned it. Then he sang Time of My Life {which I quoted in my subject line, lol} And I also shot video of it quite nicely and he changed some of the notes to supreme fantastic amazingness where I was all ':O <3333 MAKIN MY EARS A BIT TOO HAPPY THAR' xD Then he sang I Don't Want To Miss a Thing, which was really really shnazzy. Then he sang this song called My Hero, which he dedicated to his brother. Awh. My camera's memory card was full after like half of the song so I couldn't tape the whole thing and the amazingness which followed. He apparently left the stage and everyone was screaming for more then there was red light and all this smoke and the first chords of Billie Jean started and the screaming&cheering just got louder and he was singing and it was soo fantastic<3 Then all of them came out for a group number.
Anyway, afterwards we wanted to go get autographs but they told us they didn't come out. So we left.
WELL GUESS WHAT?
THEY LIED. D:
All of them came out before the show at like 1.30 or 2 AND came out afterward like an hour after the show!!!! So I'm really, really mad that I had the opportunity to actually see them and wasn't able to. D: WTF. So stupid. Seriously. I think I'll ask my dad to like, drive to LA on the 7th and go before the show and see them.
Oh, we were on the Trolley Tour in San Diego {which was where the show was} and I heard someone listening to In the Heights in their car next to us! I was like 'ZOMG ITH NUWAIII' Haha. And like, all my electronics died. My iPod died right when my mom turned off the car when we got there. Seriously perfect synchronization, lol. And my phone died just after I got off the phone with Cara and arrived at the venue. And my camera had low battery. Haha. So on the drive back I just sat there bored. I was really tiredd.
Oh, I have upsetting news. My computer now blocks PHOTOBUCKET. D: Any images posted USING photobucket and the actualy website. So that's pretty much STUPID. D: Also I have like 15 mosquito bites, which make me very very unhappy indeed.
I saw Wall•E a couple days ago. It was good. I want to see Get Smart & Hancock.
AMERICAN IDOL EFFING TOUR WAS YESTERDAY<3333333
So..we were in the VERYVERYVERY back of the venue. We could NOT be farther back. But at least we were in dead center.
!REVIEW TIME!
So we were waiting to get into the arena with our Cookie shirts on, we saw a buncha peeps with AI-related homemade shirts, me, Cara and my sister had David Cook shirts. We saw a bunch of other Cookie shirts, hooray. While we were waiting this lady driving by was like 'Yay, Cookie! Yay!' about our shirts, aha. In line we were probably being all fangirly, lol. Anyway, we got in and bought our glowy-st00f. I kinda wish I bought the picture that Cara bought. I think you could probably get it online, though. Then we got in and heard this guy blabbering about Poptarts. xD Then it started!!
Chikeze was first. he was very good, better than I expected or remembered. :D
Next was Ramiele. She's so cute&small :D She wasn't incredible but good.
Then MICHAEL JOHNS. <3 Seriously epic win. Like, amazingg Aussie skillz. <3
Then, um, oh, Kristy Lee. She did pretty good, she was never my favorite.
Next it was Carly. She's really good.
Brooke was after that. She was pretty good, I liked how she talked to the audience in between songs, it showed personality. :)
Then Jasonnnnn. I normally don't like him, but he was actually good.
Then Syesha with all her skillz. Seriously, really, good. <3
Then mad screaming & cheering from all the little fangirls for Archie. He was really good, though. During his performance me & Cara were like 'ZOMG COOK NEXT!!' Lol.
OMG. Last but deffff not least it was DAVID EFFIN COOK. <3 The cheering was intense, me&Cara were screeaaming so much. he started out with Hello, which I shot decent video of, and he most certainly pwned it. Then he sang Time of My Life {which I quoted in my subject line, lol} And I also shot video of it quite nicely and he changed some of the notes to supreme fantastic amazingness where I was all ':O <3333 MAKIN MY EARS A BIT TOO HAPPY THAR' xD Then he sang I Don't Want To Miss a Thing, which was really really shnazzy. Then he sang this song called My Hero, which he dedicated to his brother. Awh. My camera's memory card was full after like half of the song so I couldn't tape the whole thing and the amazingness which followed. He apparently left the stage and everyone was screaming for more then there was red light and all this smoke and the first chords of Billie Jean started and the screaming&cheering just got louder and he was singing and it was soo fantastic<3 Then all of them came out for a group number.
Anyway, afterwards we wanted to go get autographs but they told us they didn't come out. So we left.
WELL GUESS WHAT?
THEY LIED. D:
All of them came out before the show at like 1.30 or 2 AND came out afterward like an hour after the show!!!! So I'm really, really mad that I had the opportunity to actually see them and wasn't able to. D: WTF. So stupid. Seriously. I think I'll ask my dad to like, drive to LA on the 7th and go before the show and see them.
Oh, we were on the Trolley Tour in San Diego {which was where the show was} and I heard someone listening to In the Heights in their car next to us! I was like 'ZOMG ITH NUWAIII' Haha. And like, all my electronics died. My iPod died right when my mom turned off the car when we got there. Seriously perfect synchronization, lol. And my phone died just after I got off the phone with Cara and arrived at the venue. And my camera had low battery. Haha. So on the drive back I just sat there bored. I was really tiredd.
Oh, I have upsetting news. My computer now blocks PHOTOBUCKET. D: Any images posted USING photobucket and the actualy website. So that's pretty much STUPID. D: Also I have like 15 mosquito bites, which make me very very unhappy indeed.
I saw Wall•E a couple days ago. It was good. I want to see Get Smart & Hancock.
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